Out of Stater Tip: You're going to miss your friends, but don't let it ruin your semester

As extremely cheesy and unoriginal as this may sound, my friends mean the world to me. And I mean that in the most sincere way possible.

I consider myself extremely blessed to have such kind, intelligent, fun and supportive people in my life, and naturally their absence in my everyday life does not go unnoticed when I'm at school. I've continued to be friends with many of the same girls that I met when I was five, and in jr, high and high school I added even more people to my diverse group of friends. I formed a lot of strong friendships at the end of senior year and spent nearly everyday with them during this past summer before I left, and that made it even harder to leave.

The point of my spiel is that it's not going to be easy to leave your friends, and it's even harder for us out of state kids (especially when you're six hours or more from home). The hard truth is that if you don't go to school with them, you're probably not going to see them. And it's rough. 

I think when you're in high school or any school before college really, you take seeing your friends everyday for granted. Even if it's just once a day in the hallway, you get that quick face-to-face time on a daily basis, and obviously that's just not possible when you're multiple hours away from each other. College makes you appreciate hearing the voices and seeing the faces of the people that mean the most to you.

To be perfectly honest, I went through a short period of time when I missed my friends from home so much that I almost felt depressed. I'm slightly embarrassed to say that there were a few quick, quiet tears shed. But my problem was that I was letting my jealously get the best of me. I would see the pictures of my friends that all go to the same school with friends whose schools are nearby going to visit, and all I could think about was how much I wanted to be there. How unfair it was that they could see each other so much easier than I could. They looked like they were having so much fun and I would sit in my room and wonder why I couldn't have that much fun.

Then I realized that I needed to grow up. I couldn't let a couple facebook photos ruin my whole day. I was spending too much time sulking and not enough time going out there and forming new relationships with the new people all around me. I was allowing myself to remain closed up and was completely blind to the fact that I had so many wonderful potential friends at my fingertips.

So my advice is this my fellow out of staters, as one of my favorite Girl Scout songs says; make new friends and keep the old. Because you can have both without having to chose one or the other. 

Tips:

*Make an effort to stay in touch. My friends and I have an enormous, ongoing Facebook chat where we all share college stories, funny youtube videos, and reminisce about the good old days. It helps us keep up with each others' lives and feel like nothing has really changed.

*Remind yourself that you're becoming more independent. Personally, I think that if you're like me and the first time you go back and see all your friends is Thanksgiving break then you're becoming a much more mature person. Not going home all the time makes you stronger. It builds character, honestly.

*Join as many activities/extracurriculars as possible. I'm going to sound like a high school principal when I say this, but getting involved is a super easy way to make friends. Greek life isn't for everyone, but it ended up being quite a blessing for me because I've made my best friends in college through my sorority. So just try it. Rush. Join a club. Form an intramural team. Run for hall president. It doesn't matter what it is, but if you find something that interests you, just go for it. You never know what could happen.

*MOST IMPORTANTLY, be open. My biggest regret from my first semester is not opening up to the people on my floor. They always seemed like really cool people to me, but I was too engulfed in my "friend sickness" to take the time to get to know them, and when I finally got over it, I was too afraid to try and break into the close-knit group that had already formed. The truth is that everyone is essentially in the same boat when you're a freshman. Nobody knows what the heck they're doing, they've never been to college before. Nine times out of ten, if you take a chance and put yourself out there, people will be more than willing to get to know you.

#13 Show some friends around your home turf

Alright so I guess I need to stop acting like I'm from the city of Chicago when I'm actually from the suburbs, but I can't help but feel a connection to the city. When both of your parents lived there and made sure that you were exposed to the city from a young age, it's hard not to love that never-ending sea of concrete along that ocean blue lake.

So during break, I was lucky enough to have the chance to combine two of my favorite things; visiting the city I love and reconnecting with beloved old friends from camp, one of which couldn't remember the last time she had been to Chicago. So naturally, my fellow suburbanite Lindsey and I had to play tour guide.

Although we might not be true "chicagoans", I felt like a pretty experienced city-goer walking down the crowded streets of Michigan Ave. Ever since my Mom first let me take the train down by myself as a senior in high school, the city has brought a sense of freedom and energy that I've yet to find anywhere else, even in college. I think the feeling comes from being confident that I know my way around certain areas of such an overwhelmingly large urban area. When I'm downtown, I let myself succumb to my five year old tendencies and pretend that I actually live there.

The first place we took Jane was the restaurant Dick's Last Resort, which is sort of a PG-13 version of Ed Debevic's  (another Chicago classic). Both restaurants serve all the American staples-burgers, fries, etc-but they're known more for the waiting staffs than the food. At Ed's, the waiters will jokingly be rude but never to the point where I couldn't handle it as a young kid. Dick's, however, I'm glad I waited to eat at until after I turned eighteen. Not only do the waiters take every opportunity to be as rude to you as possible, they write especially crude insults on paper hats and force you to wear them. While this might not sound like the ideal dining experience, it's actually pretty fun and the creativity behind some of the insults are so impressive that you can't help but laugh.

Next up was ice skating at one of my favorite touristy spots, Millennium Park. The rink has become a great Chicago Christmas tradition that lasts until mid March- weather permitting-each year. The waiting in line part wasn't so fun since it took over and hour to get to the front...and then the zamboni came out as we were finally ready to skate, but once we got out there it was definitely worth it. I've never skated alongside a more beautiful view, especially as the sun was beginning to set and the final rays were reflecting off the forest of skyscrapers around us. I proved myself to be a slightly more experienced skater, and spent most of the time towing Lindsey behind me via my brother's old Adidas backpack.

Once our feet began to thaw, we walked around the park and showed Jane all the highlights. First up was of course the stainless steel sculpture Cloud Gate, known as "The Bean", created by artist Anish Kapoor. Our inner tourists really came out as we spent at least twenty minutes taking every kind of picture we could come up with, just like the throngs of people around us. We took more cheesy pictures in front of Jay Pritzker Pavilion, where our photographer intuition led us astray as Jane was yelled at by a park officer for standing on the ledge. Thankfully she wasn't too embarrassed to take more ridiculous pictures around the park, and was up for checking out the line for the "Willis" (*ahem*Sears) Tower's Skydeck. Unfortunately, it was way too long and we had a train to catch, but thankfully we had time for a quick Garrett's popcorn stop.

There's something special about reconnecting with old friends, especially in a setting such as Chicago. And, meeting up with my friends from camp is particularly special since I see them even less than my high school friends. Getting to spend time with these two wonderful girls was truly a highlight of my break, and although it was hard to say goodbye I know that they're the type of friends that are here to stay. I think it's really important to spend as much time with friends like this when you're home from school because it reminds you how thankful you should be to have them in your life. College is all about meeting new people and forming more friendships, but I've never been the type to let go of old friendships to welcome new ones, and I never will be. These girls helped me get through all of the challenges that came with high school, and they were the people by my side through all the experiences that have helped shape the person that I am today. I'll never forget all our good times together and all that they've done for me, and I can't wait to see what the rest of college and beyond has in store for us.

Throwback

So I was feeling nostalgic and reading through some of my posts from last spring/summer on my private, meant for venting-tumblr, and this post from June 21st made me think, maybe not all of the writing on that blog is crap after all! I think a lot of what I wrote here remains true, and this was my way of being mature and moving on after high school ended.

Lessons.

There are so many reasons why things happen, and it takes a while to realize them (if you’re actually lucky enough to find them out).

I know there’s a reason why you came into my life.

All of these new friends, really.

We were meant to become so close so fast, and to want to spend so much time together this summer.

It’s all a learning experience, and I’ve already learned from you and the rest of them.

I’ve learned that sometimes people come in to our life to help us figure out what we want, even if we don’t want the same things as them.

I’ve learned that, unlike my prior belief that this was impossible, guys can be just as good of friends as girls can.

I’ve learned that taking a chance and doing something that scares you can really pay off in the end, even if it doesn’t quite pay off in the way that you’d hoped.

I’ve learned that, as much as it may hurt or confuse you, sometimes things just aren’t meant to work out the way you really want them to. Everyone has their own complicated set of thoughts and feelings, and sometimes they just don’t match up with yours in the way you want it to.

I’ve learned that the people who are worth your time are the people that you’re not afraid to act weird around :)

I've learned that everything really does happen for a reason.