I consider myself extremely blessed to have such kind, intelligent, fun and supportive people in my life, and naturally their absence in my everyday life does not go unnoticed when I'm at school. I've continued to be friends with many of the same girls that I met when I was five, and in jr, high and high school I added even more people to my diverse group of friends. I formed a lot of strong friendships at the end of senior year and spent nearly everyday with them during this past summer before I left, and that made it even harder to leave.
The point of my spiel is that it's not going to be easy to leave your friends, and it's even harder for us out of state kids (especially when you're six hours or more from home). The hard truth is that if you don't go to school with them, you're probably not going to see them. And it's rough.
I think when you're in high school or any school before college really, you take seeing your friends everyday for granted. Even if it's just once a day in the hallway, you get that quick face-to-face time on a daily basis, and obviously that's just not possible when you're multiple hours away from each other. College makes you appreciate hearing the voices and seeing the faces of the people that mean the most to you.
To be perfectly honest, I went through a short period of time when I missed my friends from home so much that I almost felt depressed. I'm slightly embarrassed to say that there were a few quick, quiet tears shed. But my problem was that I was letting my jealously get the best of me. I would see the pictures of my friends that all go to the same school with friends whose schools are nearby going to visit, and all I could think about was how much I wanted to be there. How unfair it was that they could see each other so much easier than I could. They looked like they were having so much fun and I would sit in my room and wonder why I couldn't have that much fun.
Then I realized that I needed to grow up. I couldn't let a couple facebook photos ruin my whole day. I was spending too much time sulking and not enough time going out there and forming new relationships with the new people all around me. I was allowing myself to remain closed up and was completely blind to the fact that I had so many wonderful potential friends at my fingertips.
So my advice is this my fellow out of staters, as one of my favorite Girl Scout songs says; make new friends and keep the old. Because you can have both without having to chose one or the other.
Tips:
*Make an effort to stay in touch. My friends and I have an enormous, ongoing Facebook chat where we all share college stories, funny youtube videos, and reminisce about the good old days. It helps us keep up with each others' lives and feel like nothing has really changed.
*Remind yourself that you're becoming more independent. Personally, I think that if you're like me and the first time you go back and see all your friends is Thanksgiving break then you're becoming a much more mature person. Not going home all the time makes you stronger. It builds character, honestly.
*Join as many activities/extracurriculars as possible. I'm going to sound like a high school principal when I say this, but getting involved is a super easy way to make friends. Greek life isn't for everyone, but it ended up being quite a blessing for me because I've made my best friends in college through my sorority. So just try it. Rush. Join a club. Form an intramural team. Run for hall president. It doesn't matter what it is, but if you find something that interests you, just go for it. You never know what could happen.
*MOST IMPORTANTLY, be open. My biggest regret from my first semester is not opening up to the people on my floor. They always seemed like really cool people to me, but I was too engulfed in my "friend sickness" to take the time to get to know them, and when I finally got over it, I was too afraid to try and break into the close-knit group that had already formed. The truth is that everyone is essentially in the same boat when you're a freshman. Nobody knows what the heck they're doing, they've never been to college before. Nine times out of ten, if you take a chance and put yourself out there, people will be more than willing to get to know you.
*Remind yourself that you're becoming more independent. Personally, I think that if you're like me and the first time you go back and see all your friends is Thanksgiving break then you're becoming a much more mature person. Not going home all the time makes you stronger. It builds character, honestly.
*Join as many activities/extracurriculars as possible. I'm going to sound like a high school principal when I say this, but getting involved is a super easy way to make friends. Greek life isn't for everyone, but it ended up being quite a blessing for me because I've made my best friends in college through my sorority. So just try it. Rush. Join a club. Form an intramural team. Run for hall president. It doesn't matter what it is, but if you find something that interests you, just go for it. You never know what could happen.
*MOST IMPORTANTLY, be open. My biggest regret from my first semester is not opening up to the people on my floor. They always seemed like really cool people to me, but I was too engulfed in my "friend sickness" to take the time to get to know them, and when I finally got over it, I was too afraid to try and break into the close-knit group that had already formed. The truth is that everyone is essentially in the same boat when you're a freshman. Nobody knows what the heck they're doing, they've never been to college before. Nine times out of ten, if you take a chance and put yourself out there, people will be more than willing to get to know you.
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