#26 Keep in touch with the people who helped you become who you are

I feel like I say this all the time on this blog, but I can't help it: I'm so incredibly blessed, and I couldn't be more grateful.

It's amazing how having just a little more free time gives you the chance to sit back and reflect on what's really important, and I know that what's most near to my heart is all the amazing people that I have in my life. Whether I've known them since I was in preschool or just met them a few months ago, I could rattle off a list of all the people who I honestly couldn't imagine my life without, and that's pretty special.

If you can't already tell, I'm an incredibly over-sentimental person. That being said, I hope nobody takes this the wrong way because I sincerely don't think everyone should stop what they're doing during the middle of the day to reminisce about the "good old days" with friends and family. Really, my main point in this post is simply to remind you that if you don't take the time to acknowledge the people that have helped you grow as a person, you risk losing that relationship and that means you might lose a part of who you are.

It's actually sort of wild to think about how easily the human brain is molded. When we're younger, we act like our parents/guardians because they're our greatest role models, and it soon moves on to the cool older sibling, cousin, babysitter, neighbor, friend's sibling, etc. Our little brains tell us that that's what we "want to be" when we grow up, and we do everything we can to act like we're older than we really are. When we move into adolescent life, that's when our peers really start to influence who we are...which can either be a good or a bad thing.

Luckily, it was great for me. I was fortunate enough to grow up with people who shared many of the same values as me, and who accepted me for the awkward, shy, athletically-challenged and unusually tall girl with poor reflexes that I was/still am. We had some things in common, but at the root of our personalities, I was actually pretty different than all of my friends. I wasn't a fast swimmer, star student or beautiful ballerina. I wasn't the class clown or super popular girl. Instead, I was the quiet one that would only crack a joke once I got to know you well enough. I had plenty of thoughts and opinions, but I kept most of them to myself. I had hobbies, but not a ton of common ones to share with my close friends.

What's interesting is that having friends that were so different than me is what helped me realize who I really am.

My friends taught me that it was okay that I was a sucky swimmer and never made it to the city meet, they would still play Splash and Stars with my anyway. They taught me that I really CAN be funny, I just have to speak up and just get the freaking joke out. They taught me that a true friend doesn't make the 8th grade volleyball team with the rest of them but is still in the stands during nearly every game. They taught me that being a good person doesn't mean you're perfect, it just means you're kind and are mindful of the feelings of others. They taught me that true selflessness is jumping into a dirty river to retrieve your friend's flip flop when a 7th grade boy throws it in as an attempt at flirting (note that he wasn't flirting with me, it was the friend). On that note, they also taught me everything that I should and shouldn't do in a romantic relationship (I love you all but it's true, I've learned a lot from being the perpetually single girl bystander). But most importantly, they taught me that it doesn't matter how different I am because they love me for who I am, and that's someone who's taken a lesson from each and every one of them to heart.

The older we get and the more miles that separate us, it gets harder and harder to see many of these people, but I've learned so much from them, it doesn't seem fair to just cut them out of my life. That's why I've tried really hard to see as many old friends as possible this summer. Let's face it, we don't know what day is going to be our last, and I don't want to ever leave this planet knowing that I never checked in on so-and-so to see if her sister's health was improving, or with such-and-such to see if she got that campus tour guide job that she really wanted. I want to make sure I celebrate all their successes and help them get through all the downfalls, even if it's as simple as a 10-word text. Letting someone that you care about know that you haven't forgotten about them really isn't that hard to do, it just means that we have to constantly remind ourselves that these are people that we don't want out of our lives.

I know it's not always that simple. Sometimes, people don't respond to that heartfelt text that you so anxiously sent. Sometimes, you wonder why they didn't text you the same thing when you were having a rough time not that long ago. But sometimes, we just have to make the first step. If someone never acknowledges you for reaching out, it's their loss for not keeping you in their life. And as terrifying as it is to make that initial contact sometimes, I would be so much more unhappy if I didn't at least try.

#25 Don't take a single moment for granted

I know we say it after every tragedy that our country faces, or that we face personally, but life is so incredibly precious.

This past week was full of awful news from Israel, Ukraine and even my own hometown. The problem is that terrorism, war, and violence plague countries other than our own so often that sometimes, we don't take a minute to realize how lucky we are that we aren't the ones being affected. That is, until something happens on our own soil...or five minutes from your house.

This past weekend two boys from my high school were killed in a drunk driving accident. While I didn't know either of them personally, one of my best friends did, and quite frankly even if she didn't, I still would have been floored by the news.

Why do things like this happen? Is there really a lesson to be learned from the death of good people? I've never been a very religious person, but the only thing that gets me through situations like this is looking at what we could possibly learn from life's cruel twists and turns.

In this case, the obvious answer is that it is NEVER okay to drive after drinking, or to get in a car with someone who you even suspect was under the influence of any sort of substance. This is something that's drilled into our heads from the moment we enter high school (or 7th grade nowadays), yet things like this keep happening. We learn that we should just take a cab, have someone we trust walk us home, set up a DD ahead of time or at least find a friend who lives nearby to crash with if you can't get all the way home.

But, to be honest, I think there's a whole other lesson that we're missing.

When was the last time you told the people you care about how much you mean to them? And no, I don't mean a simple morning "love you" before you leave the house, or before you hang up the phone. By all means, we should all do that anyway, but I mean REALLY tell people how you feel. For example, I'm a little shy when I'm sharing my feelings with people in person, but (as you can tell) I'm definitely a fan of writing, and I find it easiest to tell people how much they mean to me when I send them a birthday card/text/social media post/etc. Birthdays are a great excuse, but let's be real, if we happen to be thinking how lucky we are to have someone in our life, we should just send them a quick text or call them up. Who doesn't love a surprise message from a close friend or relative, especially when it's been a while since you've seen them? I found that I didn't truly appreciate all my amazing friends from home until I was away from them freshman year of college, and I didn't appreciate all my college friends until the summer after freshman year. It's terribly sad, but we tend to not realize how grateful we are to have people in our life until they're not in our life anymore, whether that's temporarily or permanently. I think that changing our mindsets a little bit can change that.

On another note, have you ever stopped to think how unbelievably amazing it is to live? I know it sounds dumb and cliche but any person sweet enough to be reading my blog right now is so lucky to have the chance to be hanging out and reading stuff online.

We only get one shot. If your one shot was taken away from you right now, would you say that you've truly appreciated your life and lived it to its fullest up to this point? Don't be embarrassed to say no, because I know the answer is definitely no for me.

It's okay to get scared sometimes, and it's okay to let that fear get in the way every once in a while. It's okay to be a little shy and not introduce yourself to every single person you're attracted to, or every person you knew in high school when you feel too awkward to confront when you run into them back home. It's okay to not be 100% open with people all the time, or to keep certain things to yourself instead of sharing them with the whole world on social media.

But it's not okay to make excuses for ourselves on a daily basis. It's not okay to tell ourselves we're not good enough, or not worth it (because you ARE). It's not okay to hate, or to spend more time putting others down (whether in front of them or behind their back, it's never okay) than lifting them up. It's not okay to ignore the turmoil in other countries because it "doesn't affect us." It's not okay to let others change who we are, or to let us believe we're something that we're not. It's not okay to forget how lucky we are just for being alive.

I know this is a popular athletic attire brand's motto but I feel like it applies-just do it. Get out there. Tell someone you love them (especially if that person doesn't already know). Apply for that job you didn't think there was a chance you'd ever get. Introduce yourself to that really sweet person that kept smiling at you from across that room (or even ask for their number-hey, it's on my bucket list, not even kidding). Don't hold back. Compliment people. Make new friends. Open your mind. Find what you're passionate about and never give it up. Be who YOU want to be, not who somebody else wants you to be. Set goals. Try. Fail. Succeed. Laugh. Learn. Travel. Eat. Drink. Be merry. Let loose. Dance your @$%& off. Love.

Live.

#24 Decide what your values really are

I'm a firm believer that our twenties is the perfect time to figure out who we want to be (and no I don't mean "find yourself," there's a difference), and I've been giving it a lot of thought lately.

Who do I want to be?

Do I want to be the person who comes home from college and is constantly noting who gained some "beer weight" at school? Or the person that politely combats that comment? Or what about the one that just sits there and lets their friend make comments like that?

I've decided that I really want to be the second person in this scenario, but sometimes it's harder than it seems. We grow up in, let's be honest, a pretty cruel society, and we learn from a very young age that there's this thing called "social norms" and we're supposed to follow them (no, I was not using the phrase "social norm" as a first grader, but you know what I mean). When we don't, we aren't "accepted," and that's a bad thing, we're taught, because being accepted is what makes us happy.

Recently I've realized that college has changed me. I wouldn't say that it's been a bad change, actually, I think it's for the better, but it's been a change regardless. Growing up, I was always the "nice one." Actually, a lot of the time I was too nice and that label should have read "pushover." I never wanted to hurt anyone and that meant that I wasn't good at saying no or arguing with people if I didn't agree with them.

That's not who I am anymore. Sure, I would still consider myself to be a stereotypically "nice" person. I try really hard to keep my negative thoughts about people to myself, accept them for who they are and avoid all the terribly pointless drama that comes with gossiping. The difference is that I know how to say no now, and I know when it's the appropriate time to speak up for myself and my beliefs. AND I know how important it is that I have a set of beliefs that I can call my own.

Although I'm passionate about standing up for them these days, sometimes, I have a really hard time living by my values.

On paper, I might seem like a bit of a prude: I don't believe in showing a lot of skin, swearing often, cheating (all forms-on tests and people) or doing drugs. I don't see the point in "messing around" or dating someone without seeing a possible future with them beyond college. I go out to have fun and dance, not to find someone to make out with. I take school very seriously and value my education above everything else I'm committed to in college.

These aren't super "popular" beliefs when you're 20 years old. Sure, I know plenty of people who share the same values as me (they're my friends), but I feel like I know twice as many people who don't share them. At school, I'm often surrounded by the temptation to give in and go against the things I belief in, whether it be dressing or acting a certain way, or doing something I told myself I would never do.

I'm glad that there's finally a meme that gets me. Go Feminist Frank!

So far, I've actually held true to my personal beliefs. It may have cost me a boy's attention (actually, that's a fact, I know it has), or  prevented me from being a part of a "cooler" crowd, but I really don't give a crap. I'm not gonna lie, I did care for a while. I wondered if it was really worth living in such a seemingly "innocent" manner, but then I realized that that's the only way I want to live. I don't care how other people might label it, I am who I am and I'm proud of myself for keeping true to my beliefs everyday. I've realized that the people that I keep in my life are the people that either share the same values as me or accept our differences. Why would I waste my time on someone who judges me for not wanting to do something because it comprises my morals, or judges me for being more "innocent" than they are? Putting energy into relationships with people like that just isn't worth it.

Here's possibly the most important lesson I've learned in college: we're all different, and if you can't accept and at least attempt to appreciate that, you're going to have a hard time moving forward with your life. I for one, am one of "different's" biggest fans. I purposefully surround myself with people of all backgrounds and beliefs because I can't continue to develop as an individual without an array of perspectives in my life. I actually love talking to people who see life in a different way than I do because that's how I decide who I want to be. Do I see things that way? What part of that do I agree with? What don't I agree with? Challenging my own beliefs and confirming or denying that I still believe them is the only healthy way to maintain a values-based life, in my opinion.

That's the thing about beliefs; they don't all have to be concrete. Sure, the ones I listed above are concrete, and same goes for probably the majority of the values I live by, but that doesn't mean that I don't change my thought process form time to time. For example, I used to be the type to judge girls who wore revealing outfits out and would think that they were "just asking for it." Well, after reading just a single piece of feminist literature, that belief changed. NOTHING condones rape or sexual assault of any sort, not even the way a girl is dressed (actually, especially not the way she's dressed). Girls should be able to dress however the hell they want and not have to live with the possibility that going to a college party increases their chance of being violated. But, that's the reality, and I could go on a super long and intense feminist rant but I'll save that for another time.

Anyway, all I'm saying is that this is the time to think about what we really believe in. My biggest pet peeve is when kids share every single belief of their parents even into adulthood, just because they've never challenged that thought process. Of course it's okay to agree with your parents, but you shouldn't agree with them because you haven't taken the time to ponder if you, as an individual completely separate from your family, really shares the same perspective.

I don't know if any of that made sense, but I guess what I'm really trying to say is that I hope you all take the time to challenge your beliefs, and decide which ones you want to live by. Don't be afraid to set some personal values and don't be afraid if they're different than the "norm" because they're going to bring you a lot more happiness than that silly, middle-school sensation of "acceptance"ever did.

#23 Get outside and get a grip

Sometimes you just need to go for a hike.

Seriously though, after four months of non-stop schoolwork and extracurricular commitments, my mind, body and soul needed nothing more than a simple trip to a state park to unwind and take some time to reflect.

During finals week a bunch of us decided to take a study break to go to Devil’s Icebox in Rockbridge State Park, and it was the best decision we had made in a long time. You don’t really realize how ridiculous all your worries are until you’re in a place that’s so naturally beautiful, you can’t bring yourself to believe that anything so superficial could be taken seriously (and instead, you realize that pretending to be Indiana Jones and exploring a cave with only the iPhone flashlight app to help guide you is a much better way to spend your time).

I wasn't kidding, we actually did that in a cave

I don’t really know what it is about being outdoors, but it makes me freakishly pensive. Seriously though, my best pondering has been done on a bench at camp, overlooking the ancient wooden stairs that led down to a lake that defined my childhood for nine summers. During my few breaks I would get as a camp counselor I rarely spent them inside the staff lounge because I felt so much more relaxed under the shade of one of the trees dotting the path I’d been walking for as long as I could remember.

Seven of the best Camp Newaygo girls I ever met:)

It has something to do with nostalgia, now that I think about it. Even though we were constantly doing something, camp was definitely the part of my summers that made me feel the most relaxed.  I was able to be myself, but beyond that I think there’s just something incredibly tranquil about the outdoors. “Roughing it” without air conditioning and falling asleep to the sound of crickets and bullfrogs instead of the sound of trucks being unloaded while a fan attempts to droan them out makes you forget about the “real world". For that brief period, life just gets a lot simpler. You realize what’s really important and what’s not (What is: true friendship…and French toast sticks. What’s not: makeup, nice clothes and basically anything that has to do with caring what others think of you).

When you’re surrounded by life’s natural wonders, you realize that people just make life too complicated. We overthink everything, we worry about what other people think of us and we’re not always in touch with what really makes us happy.

Hiking Starved Rock today made me realize what I really want to get out of this summer: some “me” time. I mean, I think I owe it to myself. I spent the last semester worrying about every organization I was in and how my grades were going to turn out, and I forgot what it means to take care of myself.

My bud Leslie and I at Starved Rock State Park

When you’re staring at a waterfall that’s sole purpose is to look pretty and serve as a mode of transport for life’s most important resource, you get to thinking. And when you sit on a rock over a hundred feed above ground and just enjoy the view of the enormous body of water in front of you and your best friends, you realize that life doesn’t have to be as complicated as we make it.

We don’t have to waste our time talking about other people, or worrying about the fact that we’re the only “always single” girl left, or hold onto the bitterness we feel for things that happened weeks, months or even years ago.

It doesn’t matter. Sometimes we just need a little Mother Nature time to realize that we’re never going to be happy unless we start focusing on our own happiness. It’s not rocket science; if we don’t cut ourselves a break, we can’t expect to be happy. Sometimes we just need to stop and smell the roses (or the peculiar mix of spring water, sand, trees and potential animal droppings).

Study Abroad Sunday #1: Seville, Spain

Alright so we're about to get real cheesy up in here.

I want to start a new weekly segment entitled "Study Abroad Sunday" in which I share the perspectives of various college students who are either currently studying abroad or have recently. This time next year I hope to be studying abroad myself, and to help cure my perpetual wanderlust I want to hear about the experiences of students whose shoes I very might be walking in somewhere in the near future (keep your fingers crossed).

What better way to start off this new series than with one of my best friends, Shannon?! Shannon is currently studying abroad in Seville, Spain (or as she and the locals call it, "Sevilla"). Let's hear how it's going for her (I stink and am just posting this now, but Shannon sent this to me about two weeks ago, just FYI.)

Today is the beginning of my fourth week studying abroad in Sevilla, España, which is incredible because I feel like I've been here for years! Over the past three weeks, I saw many incredible sights, I made some great friendships, and ate a ton of delicious food! Seriously, the food is amazing. A few highlights from my time in Spain include touring La Catedral in Sevilla, which is where Christopher Columbus' tomb is located, climbing La Giralda (the big tower of the Cathedral) and taking photos of the gorgeous city of Sevilla, touring La Plaza de España and Parque de Maria Luisa, traveling to Cádiz for a day, and spending this weekend in Granada. 

My biggest piece of advice for anyone planning on studying abroad is to stay with a host family. When I was applying for my study abroad program, my parents and I were a little apprehensive about the idea that I would be living with a complete stranger for four and a half months. Even though it might seem scary and maybe a little awkward, staying with a local family is absolutely the best way to immerse yourself in the culture, the language, and the tradition of the town. Plus, they provide three delicious meals per day, which is much better than any cafeteria food you might be eating! 

#22 Stand up for what you believe in...especially if it earns you a trip to D.C.!

"Barbie germs off, okay Mommy?"

It all started when my brother was around three years old, and he decided that he couldn't play with me anymore. My 'girly' toys started bothering him so much that if he accidentally touched one of them-or sometimes just me- he would scream this phrase over and over again until my mom would tell him that they were off and everything was okay.

Fast forward about five years later and our family life became defined by an Obsessive Compulsive Disorder diagnosis, the writing of an Individual Education Plan, and countless trips to doctors and therapists who could never quite help my brother. Sure, he no longer slams doors five times before finally closing them, and he doesn't walk in and out of restaurants more than the two times it takes to enter and exit, but his compulsions are still there. OCD is not something that is cured overnight, not something that you can simply 'get over', and the same goes for all mental illnesses. 

Not everyone shares my viewpoint, however. It's this sad realization that made me determined to find a mental health advocacy club at Mizzou, and I've been lucky enough to find exactly what I'm looking for in Active Minds.

Active Minds is a a national nonprofit organization which has collegiate chapters all over the U.S. and Canada. Our goal is to change the conversation about mental health and give voice to this issue that is so close to our hearts.

This past November, I was blessed with the incredible opportunity to attend the National Active Minds Conference in Washington, D.C.. I spent three days on the insanely gorgeous campus of Georgetown University, and I loved every second of it.

First of all, I have a bizarre obsession with seeing other schools. I'm not sure why I find it fun to compare my campus to all the others that I visit, but I think I just really enjoy putting myself in other people's shoes and imagining how their college experience might be different than mine. Which, oddly enough, is one reason why this was the best conference I could have ever gone on.

My Stomp Out Stigma walk pennant and name tag

I was probably fifteen years old when I realized that I really wanted to do something to stop the stigma surrounding mental illness. I embraced this cause as fully as many of my peers embraced Livestrong, Susan B. Komen and other organizations fighting for the cure of physical illnesses. I wasn't very vocal about how close this cause was to my heart however, because my brother was unfortunately so embarrassed by his disorder that my family kept it a secret from most people other than our closest family and friends.

So, when I finally found an organization three years later that could help me fight for this cause that I was so passionate about, I jumped right in. Active Minds became an extremely important part of my life last semester, and as I became more and more involved, I began realizing how much closer I was to making a real impact.

My experience at the national conference was very different than some of my peers, however. Through various open discussions, I began to realize that a large majority of my fellow Active Minds members across the country joined the movement because they themselves suffer from a mental illness. I sat and listened to story after heart wrenching story of students right around my age who had spent mornings unsure of whether or not they could get out of bed because they had lost the motivation to live. This was the ultimate turning point for me, because hearing exactly what it was like to live your life with a mental illness was that missing viewpoint that had kept me from fully understanding the cause that I had thrown myself into head-first.

My brother doesn't talk about his experience with OCD. In fact, he barely talks at all. He keeps to himself and the couple friends that he allows to peek into his life from time to time, and to be honest, it's kept us from having a real relationship. Don't get me wrong, I love my brother dearly and I would do anything for him, but the fact that he's never actually told me how hard it is to live with OCD always made it hard for me to truly understand, or to sympathize on the days when his disorder prevented me from doing the things I wanted to do.

My pledge to support Active Minds and "stomp out stigma"

Attending the National Active Minds Conference gave me the insight I needed to be a true advocate for mental health and for the battle against stigma. I've been trained to be a mental health peer educator, and I will spend this semester sharing all the vital lessons I learned at conference with fellow Mizzou students through the multiple presentations I'll give (starting this month!)

The point of this is simple; if you really care about changing something that's plaguing our society, do something about it. Or better yet, do everything you can to fully grasp the scale of the problem, and don't let anything get in your way once you're ready to make a difference.

SIDE NOTE: Georgetown and D.C. are absolutely wonderful and the travel lover in me has a few tips for anyone interested in visiting.

1) You MUST see the Star Spangled Banner (and yes, I'm talking about an object and not our nation's great anthem). 
If you go to D.C., it's a given that you have to visit as many Smithsonian museums as physically possible. However, whoever planned my eighth grade trip to our nation's great capital must have overlooked the National Museum of American History. Here you can see movie artifacts (like Dorothy's red slippers!), good old Abe's favorite hat, and most important, our nation's first flag (which is actually called the Star Spangled Banner, which many people actually don't know). I swear I'm not just trying to be cheesy when I say that seeing that flag made me feel more patriotic than ever before. There's something about seeing such an enormous artifact which literally made history with each individual stitch. The flag is stored in a room where you're not supposed to take pictures because of the special light that they use to preserve it, but you can get away with a quick snap on your iPhone without the flash. Just edit it later and make it brighter (see my poor excuse for photography below).

The Star Spangled Banner in all her original glory (minus a star)

2) The actual town of Georgetown is one of the most quaint places you will ever visit. Just walk down M Street and all the streets running parallel and you will find a town caught in a web of old and new America. I developed a slight obsession with the old pastel colored buildings, wrought iron fences and cobblestone streets. Oh, and you have to find the Exorcist stairs (from the movie) that are ironically placed in one of the most peaceful neighborhoods Ive ever been in (and don't be afraid to take a cheesy picture where you pretend you're falling...I mean, I did).

Take a step off M Street and see the colorful neighborhoods surrounding

3) It's okay to skip Chinatown. I could walk around D.C. for weeks. Between the monuments, government buildings and numerous college campuses (and with the ease of the metro) it's easy to find yourself entertained without spending a dime. My fellow group members and I visited the Lincoln Memorial on our first night in town and suddenly were overcome with hunger, so we decided to leave this dreamland of American history and venture off to Chinatown, and I have to say I was pretty disappointed. I think we walked for fifteen minutes before we found a real restaurant among all the American chains with Chinese signs. The food was great, but I could have found the same quality at my favorite Chinese restaurant back home. Find a restaurant in downtown instead, and spend some more time walking on the same grounds as our founding fathers.

The Mizzou crew plus our adopted member Sarah being ourselves outside the most beautiful building on campus

#21 Stop, slow down and reflect

Winter break is glorious.

It really is. Five weeks without lecture, reading assignments, papers, projects, deadlines, early alarms and the general sense that there's a dark gray cloud looming over your head which threatens to burst at any moment and drench you in all the bullet points on your to-do list.

I'm fortunate enough to not have any real responsibility over break. Yes, I babysit a little here and there and I still have the task of applying for summer internships weighing me down a bit, but I much rather worry about something related to my major and hopefully future career than have my thoughts consumed with econ word problems.

For me, winter break is a time to catch up with friends and family back home, sleep in, read (FOR FUN), watch way too many movies and TV shows, spend countless hours on the internet and of course, write.

But what I think I've found myself doing the most is being extremely reflective, mostly at night while I read blogs and watch random inspirational videos on YouTube and think about life. You know, normal teenage stuff (and soon to be twenty somethings stuff). 

Here are a few things I've decided about life, especially after the past year (brace yourself for a let-down because I'm not nearly as deep and poetic and I'd like to imagine).

Also a New Years resolution: take more awkward photos with my friends

1) Life is hard, but it's a lot easier when you don't have to go it alone (and no, I'm not talking about having a significant other). Anyone that actually reads this blog and/or knows me well knows that the relationships I have with all my friends and family members are extremely important to me. I would not be the person I am today-who I'm pretty proud of-without their constant support and guidance, and I wish I could repay them for all that they do for me.

2) It's okay not to have it all together. I would love to make it appear that I'm perfectly put together, but I kinda suck at pretending and that's okay. Who cares if I don't know what the hell I'm doing half the time? I'm in college. I'm at a point in my life that is all about learning both academic and life lessons that I’ll take with me for the rest of my life, and it's okay to make mistakes. What's the fun in being perfect anyway?

3) Being tolerant towards other people will make you a lot happier. I sort of hate the saying "ignorance is bliss" because it's equally true and untrue. I'm a big supporter of human rights, and it drives me crazy when people don't see how prejudiced they are acting. Sometimes ignorance is by choice (I'd say this is the bliss part, AKA a coping mechanism for those who can't handle interactions with people who are different than them) and sometimes it's a way of thinking that they've inherited from those that raised them. What I've found is that no matter how passionately I disagree with someone, it's pointless to argue with him or her. All we can do is accept people for who they are, and accept the fact that we all have our own perspective. Being respectful of others' opinions, actions, beliefs and general way of life has led me to meet some wonderful and fascinating people who are both similar and very different than I, and I wouldn't trade those interactions and friendships for anything.

4) (This kind of goes with the last one) think before you act. I'm going to reference the classic "treat others as you wish to be treated" line here. In one of my journalism classes this semester, a guest speaker called this line the golden rule, and then said that journalists need to follow the "platinum rule" instead. This rule is to "treat other people the way THEY wish to be treated". I may not care if one of my fellow writers on the website I write for publishes an article about finding the perfect guy (because Lord knows I'm always in need of some advice in that department) but if I was the editor and I knew that another writer for the site is a member of the LGBTQ community, I should be more mindful of publishing that article since it's exclusively reaching out to one sexual orientation. We can't assume that people are always going to be okay with certain gestures or topics of conversation or anything really, because we're not them. And I don't know about you guys but I can't read minds, so just ask. If you don't know how to address someone, of if something offends them, or if you're just really unsure of where they're at in general, politely ask. It shows that you care, and avoids an unpleasant situation. Basically what I'm trying to say is use good judgment and think about what you're going to say or do before you say or do it.

5) In the words of one of my favorite celebrities, Ellen DeGeneres, "be kind to one another". This is a pretty basic one: don't talk crap about people. We all do it, I've done it before, but it doesn't make anyone happy. I for one feel terrible anytime I say something negative about someone else, and I hope you feel the same way. One thing I've learned from every single female friendship I've had since third grade is that there's a difference between talking about people behind their back and venting. If your best friend left you alone at a party to be with a guy then you have all the right to be upset, and talk to your other best friend about it in her room the next day. If you go around telling all of your mutual friends that she's a total bitch and you can't stand her however, then that's less acceptable. In the words of the great Thumper; "If you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all". It works. You can keep most of those perfectly natural negative thoughts about others to yourself if you really try, but if it's something directly involving you that's really upset you, you have all the right to talk it out with someone privately. 

6) Everything happens for a reason, and if it's meant to happen it'll happen. I have to convince myself of this everyday, but so far it's doing a great job of reminding me that it's possible to look at every situation in a positive light (although it is a stretch sometimes). I often find myself comparing myself to other people and wishing things were different in my life, but then I realize how lucky I am to have the life that I have, and I remember that everything is going to work out because nobody's life is all smooth sailing (even though we all have that friend that we secretly hate sometimes because of how perfect their life appears to be). The beautiful thing about imperfections is that they help you realize how to make a similar situation better the next time around. If every event that I planned, if every homework assignment and every application I sent in was a success, then I would never learn anything and life would be so uninteresting. The beautiful thing about your life is that it's in your hands. Yes, there are plenty of outside forces influencing it, but it's up to you how you deal with them. So, next time you look up at the sky and wonder why someone seems to hate you up there, remember that you're here for a reason and you can decide what that reason is by the manner in which you decide to live. 

7) Find your passion, work your butt off and don't compare yourself to anyone else. We all have those friends, fellow students, etc. who drive us crazy because it seems like they get everything handed to them in life, am I right? Sometimes it's hard to stay motivated when everything seems to be going right for them...I mean, they go out every other night and get straight As? How does that even happen? I'm here to tell you not to let that get in your way. Ignore those jealous thoughts because they're poisonous and will only make it harder for you to reach your goals. If you can find what you truly love to do and want to continue to do for the rest of your life, make a major out of it and do everything you can to succeed. Comparing yourself to others only brings negativity into your life that weighs you down, and I promise once you realize that your future is up to you and not them, those weights will be lifted off your shoulders.

Alright well that was a great more deal of elaboration than I expected to share so sorry for that, but I hope that this has inspired you to make your own list of life lessons that you've learned thus far. What I like to do once it's a new year is stop, reflect on what I've done and learned the past year and make a list of things that I want to change/accomplish/just do in general within the next year. It's sort of like making a list of multiple smaller New Year resolutions that might be more attainable or more applicable to where you're at in your life at that time. Also, I'm the girl who would cry in the Barbie aisle when I had to chose which one to take home so clearly it makes sense why I would have a hard time choosing just one new years resolution.