#21 Stop, slow down and reflect

Winter break is glorious.

It really is. Five weeks without lecture, reading assignments, papers, projects, deadlines, early alarms and the general sense that there's a dark gray cloud looming over your head which threatens to burst at any moment and drench you in all the bullet points on your to-do list.

I'm fortunate enough to not have any real responsibility over break. Yes, I babysit a little here and there and I still have the task of applying for summer internships weighing me down a bit, but I much rather worry about something related to my major and hopefully future career than have my thoughts consumed with econ word problems.

For me, winter break is a time to catch up with friends and family back home, sleep in, read (FOR FUN), watch way too many movies and TV shows, spend countless hours on the internet and of course, write.

But what I think I've found myself doing the most is being extremely reflective, mostly at night while I read blogs and watch random inspirational videos on YouTube and think about life. You know, normal teenage stuff (and soon to be twenty somethings stuff). 

Here are a few things I've decided about life, especially after the past year (brace yourself for a let-down because I'm not nearly as deep and poetic and I'd like to imagine).

Also a New Years resolution: take more awkward photos with my friends

1) Life is hard, but it's a lot easier when you don't have to go it alone (and no, I'm not talking about having a significant other). Anyone that actually reads this blog and/or knows me well knows that the relationships I have with all my friends and family members are extremely important to me. I would not be the person I am today-who I'm pretty proud of-without their constant support and guidance, and I wish I could repay them for all that they do for me.

2) It's okay not to have it all together. I would love to make it appear that I'm perfectly put together, but I kinda suck at pretending and that's okay. Who cares if I don't know what the hell I'm doing half the time? I'm in college. I'm at a point in my life that is all about learning both academic and life lessons that I’ll take with me for the rest of my life, and it's okay to make mistakes. What's the fun in being perfect anyway?

3) Being tolerant towards other people will make you a lot happier. I sort of hate the saying "ignorance is bliss" because it's equally true and untrue. I'm a big supporter of human rights, and it drives me crazy when people don't see how prejudiced they are acting. Sometimes ignorance is by choice (I'd say this is the bliss part, AKA a coping mechanism for those who can't handle interactions with people who are different than them) and sometimes it's a way of thinking that they've inherited from those that raised them. What I've found is that no matter how passionately I disagree with someone, it's pointless to argue with him or her. All we can do is accept people for who they are, and accept the fact that we all have our own perspective. Being respectful of others' opinions, actions, beliefs and general way of life has led me to meet some wonderful and fascinating people who are both similar and very different than I, and I wouldn't trade those interactions and friendships for anything.

4) (This kind of goes with the last one) think before you act. I'm going to reference the classic "treat others as you wish to be treated" line here. In one of my journalism classes this semester, a guest speaker called this line the golden rule, and then said that journalists need to follow the "platinum rule" instead. This rule is to "treat other people the way THEY wish to be treated". I may not care if one of my fellow writers on the website I write for publishes an article about finding the perfect guy (because Lord knows I'm always in need of some advice in that department) but if I was the editor and I knew that another writer for the site is a member of the LGBTQ community, I should be more mindful of publishing that article since it's exclusively reaching out to one sexual orientation. We can't assume that people are always going to be okay with certain gestures or topics of conversation or anything really, because we're not them. And I don't know about you guys but I can't read minds, so just ask. If you don't know how to address someone, of if something offends them, or if you're just really unsure of where they're at in general, politely ask. It shows that you care, and avoids an unpleasant situation. Basically what I'm trying to say is use good judgment and think about what you're going to say or do before you say or do it.

5) In the words of one of my favorite celebrities, Ellen DeGeneres, "be kind to one another". This is a pretty basic one: don't talk crap about people. We all do it, I've done it before, but it doesn't make anyone happy. I for one feel terrible anytime I say something negative about someone else, and I hope you feel the same way. One thing I've learned from every single female friendship I've had since third grade is that there's a difference between talking about people behind their back and venting. If your best friend left you alone at a party to be with a guy then you have all the right to be upset, and talk to your other best friend about it in her room the next day. If you go around telling all of your mutual friends that she's a total bitch and you can't stand her however, then that's less acceptable. In the words of the great Thumper; "If you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all". It works. You can keep most of those perfectly natural negative thoughts about others to yourself if you really try, but if it's something directly involving you that's really upset you, you have all the right to talk it out with someone privately. 

6) Everything happens for a reason, and if it's meant to happen it'll happen. I have to convince myself of this everyday, but so far it's doing a great job of reminding me that it's possible to look at every situation in a positive light (although it is a stretch sometimes). I often find myself comparing myself to other people and wishing things were different in my life, but then I realize how lucky I am to have the life that I have, and I remember that everything is going to work out because nobody's life is all smooth sailing (even though we all have that friend that we secretly hate sometimes because of how perfect their life appears to be). The beautiful thing about imperfections is that they help you realize how to make a similar situation better the next time around. If every event that I planned, if every homework assignment and every application I sent in was a success, then I would never learn anything and life would be so uninteresting. The beautiful thing about your life is that it's in your hands. Yes, there are plenty of outside forces influencing it, but it's up to you how you deal with them. So, next time you look up at the sky and wonder why someone seems to hate you up there, remember that you're here for a reason and you can decide what that reason is by the manner in which you decide to live. 

7) Find your passion, work your butt off and don't compare yourself to anyone else. We all have those friends, fellow students, etc. who drive us crazy because it seems like they get everything handed to them in life, am I right? Sometimes it's hard to stay motivated when everything seems to be going right for them...I mean, they go out every other night and get straight As? How does that even happen? I'm here to tell you not to let that get in your way. Ignore those jealous thoughts because they're poisonous and will only make it harder for you to reach your goals. If you can find what you truly love to do and want to continue to do for the rest of your life, make a major out of it and do everything you can to succeed. Comparing yourself to others only brings negativity into your life that weighs you down, and I promise once you realize that your future is up to you and not them, those weights will be lifted off your shoulders.

Alright well that was a great more deal of elaboration than I expected to share so sorry for that, but I hope that this has inspired you to make your own list of life lessons that you've learned thus far. What I like to do once it's a new year is stop, reflect on what I've done and learned the past year and make a list of things that I want to change/accomplish/just do in general within the next year. It's sort of like making a list of multiple smaller New Year resolutions that might be more attainable or more applicable to where you're at in your life at that time. Also, I'm the girl who would cry in the Barbie aisle when I had to chose which one to take home so clearly it makes sense why I would have a hard time choosing just one new years resolution.